pity

When we feel that world is not being fair to us we tend to pity ourselves. We tend to cry, blame people and blame God. We use all our power to show pride but at the end of the day we can't help but to pity ourselves. I hate to say it but this is normal for people. It's never an easy task to admit that you're weak and that you pity yourself.

What should you do?

Let go of the things that make you sad. Let go of the people who don't treat you right. Leave them behind and start a new life without them.

You love that person? You can't live without that person? You're happiness is that person itself?

If that person feels the same way too, you shouldn't feel the way you're hurting right now. You shouldn't be there cursing the world because people were unfair.


Is it really that hard to let go?

Yes. It is hard. That's why you have to be with your strongest companion in your weakest days. You should be with God. You have to be with your friends. You have to learn how to love yourself first and how to trust yourself that you can do this.

You have to leave the people who hurt you and hurting you.


Good day

push over

have you had a partner or a friend that push you over your limits? have you ever meet someone who always ask you a favor that you can't say no to?

i've been a push over too, and i hate it. sometimes i do things that i really don't want to do just to please that person. i just cry out of anger because i really don't want to do it but i can't stop. i can't stop because i fear of losing that person. i've been asking myself as to why i'm doing such things. i ask myself over and over, do i really have to do this for that person? is it even worth it? is it even fair? and lastly, can that person return the favor or this is just a one way thing? sometimes, i really want to crush myself and just die because of being such a push over. i know and i feel that something's or someone's being unfair to me, but i just can't quit it, i can't say no.

example:

"hey can you do this (proposal paper) for me?"

ME: hmm. i have a lot of things to do at home later, you know i do chores and my homework too.

"pls? :D"

ME: o..ok. yeah sure! :| :)

at home...

ME: what the.. what now? i have lots of things do! i don't have much time.. oh well, then i guess i won't sleep all night :(

at school..

"hey! are you done with my paper?"

ME: yeah. here. :)

"oh hey, you did this the wrong way. come on! i trusted you on this one. damn, what am i going to do now? i'll not be able to pass this. PLS don't talk to me for the meatime ok? "

me: sorry. maybe we can do some changes :(

"no you can't, i have to pass this now! goodbye"

later...

ME: WHAT THE FUCK! I DID EVERYTHING THAT I COULD AND THAT'S MY REWARD???!

that was just an example of many scenarios that i've been through. that's not even the worst favor i got from someone. being a push over is really not good especially when you're already old enough to think for yourself and to say no.

but eventually the fear will fade and you'll learn how to say no. just don't be afraid. never let anyone to be your master, never let anyone stomp on you and have a little pride for yourself. remember to always have something left for yourself. (this especially applies when it's about money, that's a serious matter)

good day everyone. :)

forgiveness

did anyone hurt you? anyone made you look like a fool? have you ever felt being betrayed by your closest friends? if yes, read this. i understand how it feels. you want to kill and smash their bones, right? you curse them everyday and every minute of your life and you even wish for them to die, right? well, it's not entirely wrong to think about doing those things. what's wrong is actually doing those. i mean, that would be insane. the thing is we can't change the fact that it will really take some time for you to have the courage to forgive someone. one thing is pride, another is ego and of course, it is because you still hate the person and you don't want to move on. if you say "no, i have moved on, it's just that i can't forgive that person yet" then, i'm sorry to say this you haven't moved on yet! it's true, that sometimes the hardest things to do in life are the right things to do. when someone hurt you so bad or betrayed your trust, it will never be easy for you to forgive. in your mind, it will never be right to forgive the person who wronged you. especially if it's someone who you really loved and cared for a long time. well it really depends on what degree the situation is, and to what extent the fault went. you know what does it really takes for you to move on? believe it or not, the first step is to FORGIVE. it takes time to mend a broken heart and it also take a lot of time to do some effort for changes. it takes time to get used to the new path you've chosen after whatever tragedy you went through. it takes some time to move on and it takes some time to forgive. it took me almost five years to forgive some of my friends. it was worth it, or so atleast i thought it was. Now, we see each other as strangers. because you can't bring back something that has been destroyed. friendship and relationship are not recycable just like any wrecked "ship" in the sea. you can be with them again but it will never be the same. it will never be good as new but you can do things to save things that can be saved. or maybe you can start over, let go of the things that hurt you, learn to forgive so you can move on, love that person again like you've never been hurt before. who knows, maybe it'll work this time around. it's just a matter of choice. There are times that i still feel the anger inside my heart. memories won't leave you alone. memories haunt you and you have to learn how to deal with it to avoid the rage. you have to find ways to divert your attention to happy thoughts. forgiveness is not a bad thing. yes, it will take a lot of courage and pride but it will surely be worth it. being unable to forgive restricts you from moving on. while being able to forgive gives you a new life and a little sense freedom.

moving on

a happy person is not always happy indeed. day by day you make everyone believe there's nothing wrong and that you're conpletely okay when in reality you're broken. people call it courage but for me it's all pride. a person with a strong personality and a hard facade is a person who has a very soft and sensitive spot. most of the time these people are those who have been through a lot of bad stuffs. well, sometimes, it takes only a few moment of sadness to turn a sweet person into being a cold hearted one and sometimes even a lot of hardships and sufferings wont change a person's perspective in life. it really depends on the situation and how a person will face every hard situation.

in every hard situation there are two choices, swallow it or let it swallow you.

when you're suffering in a bad situation and you let every bad thing swallow your whole being, it will just put you into a madness. the madness will give you bitterness and when the madness fade the memories behind the madness will continue to haunt you down. these memories will affect you and your whole being. every choice you make will be different. that's because you already learned things about life. this will now limit your decisions and your moves. every mistake from your past will forever be within you and use it everytime you have to decide for things. it will limit your life! it wil change your personal relationships and your personality. when you let every memory from the past swallow you, you'll never move on.

so what will you do? will you swallow it and let everyone step on you or let it swallow you even though it will limit your life.?

well, i learned a lesson in how i met your mother and here's what the future Ted said.

you can just let it go